August calls forth the majesty of the Leo...
A warmth hinting at Indian summer comes with suggestion that harvest is around the bend. This celebration of nature is also a sign of change. Before delving into the significance this period has for me, an anecdote.
My mother is a woman I choose to have a relationship with. I'm fortunate that she alone has that precious role in my life. She exudes compassion, wisdom, great wit, insight, soulfulness and generosity. She also has great rhythm and musicality which, during my upbringing, made our wordplay and knack for accents all the more rich.
Life was very challenging and poverty was the social class. We spent times using the mind the stave off hunger and cold, especially at the end of each month. I wasn't necessarily popular in school by wearing hand-me-down clothes and generic brand names. It was tough, to put it mildly. My mom and I had each other and sense of internal strength that saw us through the most painful episodes.
By constantly asking me: what kind of vibes I got, she encouraged me to develop critical-thinking skills with which to scientifically explore those vibes and cultivate sacred intuitive language.
I was not a superstitious child. I sought to investigate the truth in all things. Though reluctant, she sometimes permitted me to attend a church service. I was so curious what people of different tribes were up to. I went Chinese Bible school, Lutheran Bible school, Buddhist this and that... I went to see if there was any thing from my direct experience with the universe that was recognizable. Not so much.
What did I learn from my investigation? To put it simply: humans were speaking about a thing and not living the thing; humans weren't being themselves.
As an adult, when I officially came out as "Healer" and came out as "Queer", I received so much backlash, rejection, judgement from more folks than I can count. Though I had friendly relationships with most, as soon as I 'named', I was feared and banished.
I'm like: WTF? [That means What The Fuck?']
For years, I dreamed of creating a safe place where folks could respect themselves and others by being themselves, a place where humans could embrace their humanity - all of their feelings, their thoughts, their own body, their personality, their soul. A place where they can cultivate trust in their vibes and express themselves.
That space was the intention that brought XD Service to life.
For the last six-years, I've held XD Service - a 100% donation-based healing gathering - in my living room. I've welcomed people regardless of their purple, their rock & roll, their accent, their hair cut, their ping pong, their chop sticks or fork.
It has been an honor that has gifted me in ways larger and more intimate than I can describe. This feeling is rich in my bosom now. It is in the tears that stream as I write this sentiment.
What began as an event 'for the people' has likewise evolved as a touchstone for me. Some that have attended have seen me through hardship and they cast no stone of judgement. They breathed along in the moments I also needed to take space for myself. Some did judge and left with pride in their position, in spite of my steadfast message and living practice: embrace humanity. I guess they weren't ready to own their weakness, that scoffing my pain was their unconsciousness bookmark.
I'm grateful for each conversation, investigation, sharing of personal experiences, elegant displays of humor and care. I'm grateful to have witnessed genuine friendships taking flight to new directions independent of these few hours. I'm grateful to have known you and to have shared this way.
Where six-years could become sixty-years of enriching moments, I announce that this August will be the 'ultimate' XD Service.
It is not a moment for me now to say or determine when I will offer this event again, I simply let you know that you are appreciated and that should you wish to attend for the first time, again or for the first time in a long time, feel welcome.
Thank you for sharing life with me!
Saturday, 11 August - The Alignment
"Where quantum science, consciousness of spirit, love and life purpose converge, miracles happen. Welcome to The Alignment. This experiential multidimensional group healing event is designed to assist in realizing your full dynamic potential and connect you with your divine awareness."
Tuesday, 14 August - making the most of Breathing: a workshop for those that use oxygen
Learning how to breathe so you can make the most of the in-breath and the most of the out-breath.
Sunday, 19 August - The 'ultimate' XD Service (3rd Sunday)
"XD Service – "XD" a term for "multidimensional", or having many dimensions – is a celebration of life. This gathering serves to develop meaningful intimacy with and appreciation for nature, the experience of humanity, divinity and soul purpose. This is also an invitation for healing, insight and discovery.
XD Service this month is 29 July (5th Sunday)
Event Seating Is Limited. Book Now!
I look forward to being in contact and serving you!
At the onset, you may not immediately consider how the basic rituals of living, such as laundry, may influence health. The irony, no stretched-pun intended, is that the seemingly mundane is a factor in what builds or undermines, the ethos of your robustness.
Keep this in mind as I share something personal with you: I care about everyone's health. I care about the environment.
This for me means to use, source and educate about sustainable living and biological goods and services as well as providing empowering healing sessions, workshops and retreats.
When I moved to Amsterdam in 2012 I set out to find local vendors that employed earth-friendly practices. I was particularly keen on finding a biological dry-cleaning & laundry company. My answer arrived with four gold stars when I found Bubble & Stitch.
You may wonder what dry-cleaning and health have to do with each other? I'll return to that.
Upon seeing their inviting website many years ago, I contacted them to discover something else about their company: not only do they have an biological mind-set, they have great customer service, one I've been longing to experience.
Over the years, through being their customer, I've cultivated a relationship with Bubble & Stitch and can testify to the work they've done for me - from repairing wool sweaters after hungry moths had a wild wedding party on my sleeve, to sophisticated alterations, to dry-cleaning and laundry, and now more through their pick-up/drop-off initiative Dobbi.
No longer do I have to pack my fiets bags with linens from sessions, or winter blankets. Nor must I hoist hangers freshly-pressed attire over my shoulder, in the rain, up steep hills. (Wait, San Francisco flashback... we don't have hills!) Instead, I use Dobbi and what a difference it has made for my productivity, efficiency and time-conservation.
OK, Tuaca - what about health, why not use my 'normal' dry-cleaner op de hoek? Because dear friends: the amount of toxic chemicals used accumulates and affects your bio-chemistry.
Have care with what you put IN, ON and NEAR your beautiful body, the one that enables you to live.
So enthusiastic I am about their service, ethics and customer relations, I've partnered with Dobbi to get you started employing efficiency. Visit their website, download the ap and use Coupon Code / Korting: "TUACA" at check-out.
If you're a bodyworker inundated with sheets, a football coach/parent with a pile of muddy jerseys or a KLM pilot or crew member that wants to 'touch earth' more often than your work life permits, Dobbi will be an asset.
Let me know about your experience with Dobbi / Bubble & Stitch.
#I didn't have a name for the discomfort I felt as a child when a relative of mine – or stranger for that matter – would, in my view, over react to a situation, feel 'offended' and use their deep 'superficial pain' as an excuse to throw a temper tantrum, suck oxygen from the air, sharpen their vampire teeth and justify excess spending or eating or other quick chemical-inducing thrill as a salve to their inability to allow their feelings to inform them. Want a recipe for social chaos? Kaboom! You've got it!
An alternative: explore, learn, connect, converse, practice respect, LISTEN!
It took a while to get the correct words to describe this dynamic and the strength to articulate my message – particularly directly to the face of the sociopath. I've since tested my mettle on numerous appropriate conversations. No contest. Love always win.
Over the years, I've discussed the "I'm offended" posture and my perspective of it. The "illness" is isolating as it binds people together by dividing them. Just look at the nature of gossip! It is not a maker of friends.
And most certainly I've discussed this recently with my friends as it pertained to the cosmic roles of Clinton, Obama, Trump, Sanders and the collective shadow striving for consciousness of (not just) American voters. Look in the mirror. Own what you are shown. Let it destroy your illusions not distort longing to see.
I don't know Jonathan Pie yet I appreciate this video and his message. Kudos sir!
Have the courage to LISTEN to a view point.
The Messenger ^i^
#Offended #Trump #Clinton #Election #2016 #Politics #Society #JonathanPie
"Two nights in a row I've had to telephone the police. Misguided youth, the same wayward teens each night, made sport of throwing rocks at my windows, ringing my doorbell, shining flashlights in window, shouting out and feigning the need for help.
I've never seen these youngsters before, or any on my street; there aren't families that live here….But they showed up at my door.
The officers phoned me when they were outside in response to my call. I invited them up two-fold: speaking on a mobile phone is not an occupation I like to hold for more than a minute and to meet them face to face.
When the officer mounted the last step up to my door, I saw the "MMA" (Mixed Martial Arts) knowledge in his tissues. THAT training demands ethics, respect, discipline, work and is what these children are missing.
I gently touched the officer's forearm referencing my MMA observation – which he took ownership of – and said, "These children need a mentor." And by 'mentor', in this case I mean, a goal-oriented, organized, strong male figure to look up to. Someone like…. well, exactly HIM!
I'm hopeful the two officers find these children to make this impression on them, investigate where they live and the circumstances therein – there is a reason they weren't at home at midnight – and so I can aim for a 9-hour sleep tonight!
Once again you come to my aid: thank you Politie Amsterdam ^i^"
Ignorance isn't bliss.
"Lesbian, bisexual, straight, chaste, American, English speaker, spiritual medium, healer, intuitive, caucasian, female, poor, disabled, homeless" – at one time or another I've been discriminated or accosted or threatened for being one or all of these.
Last Sunday was no different. However I have the Politie Amsterdam to thank for showing up in record time.
I had just returned home after an incredible weekend ayahuasca healing retreat. That two night ceremony takes many days to prepare for and it is all consuming. As grateful as I am to serve the participants, it means little sleep for me. Returning home was also a sensible reward. I was looking forward to my own bed.
There outside my front door was a black Volkswagen 4-door with Dutch vehicle plates. One man, wearing a grey shirt and post bootcamp-esque hair cut was in the front passenger seat, and two guys sat in the rear: one wearing a blue shirt, and another wearing black shirt and jacket. With no one in the driver's seat, the stereo playing, and all of them smoking hand-rolled cigarettes, this was tell-tale.
I approached the car. Seeing me coming they rolled down the window.
Me: "Hello! Are you guys waiting for someone?"
1: "Yes, we're waiting for a friend." he said motioning to the building. (He was lying.)
3: (On the band wagon): "Why?"
2: "Why? Are you racist?" (He is clueless. And defensive. This question says a lot about him.)
I had made reasonable contact with number 1. It begot a simple conversation, a peace maker.
I explained that a few times a year folks park their cars here, blast their sound systems, smoke, drink, break their glass bottles, do poppers, leave a mess, order pizza, use my address for delivery agents that ring my bells at midnight, and cause chaos and a terrible mess. "I don't choose for that to happen."
1 became more reasonable. He understood and said wouldn't do that (even if he was planning on doing exactly that.) He went on shifting the conversation to other topics and shared that he was from Morocco. He asked where I was from and what I did.
2 and 3 were shouting out their guesses: Australia? New Zealand? England? Canada? Are you a doctor? A psychologist? Are you Christian? Buddhist?
Me: I grew up in San Francisco. I'm a healer.
1 was very intrigued about San Francisco, the US and translated 'healer' to his associates.
Then it came. The onslaught.
2 and 3 began to shout numerous derogative slurs, preached about how I was going to hell and proceeded to make threats.
Conversation over. They crossed the line. I called the police.
I've never seen so many police on my street so quickly. They took their car apart. This didn't upset me in the slightest.
My guests, some participants from the ceremony, applauded how I handled it. That I stayed 'cool' and 'centered'.
This is an act of love, to take care and stay cool and centered.
And it is a practice.
I've space for conversation and exploration. A threat is a threat and to treat it otherwise can be hazardous.
Why do I press the point of being a critical thinker? This example is a good reason. Being able to entertain a thought without rejecting or accepting it is a sign of mental sovereignty.
These men accused me of being racist because I asked a question. Then they accused me of working with demons because they don't ask questions.
If your belief doesn't allow you to question, then it is not your belief. It is your prison and you are a slave.
May your relationship with God not be reduced to a concept.
And if you presently identify as atheist (though I've never met a real atheist): may your relationship with your psyche and humanity not be reduced to a co-factor or sorrowful statistic.
If you can question (I mean intimately explore) your motives and seek to understand others, you are ahead of where you were yesterday. (And you begin to develop the foundation for compassion. Yes, that is a lot of beginnings in one sentence. But compassion is skill built on experience.)
On that note:
May critical thinking be your bedfellow. May peace and knowing when enough is enough be you sunshine consort.
سلام שלום vrede Frieden pace Fred paz ความสงบสุข kapayapaan peace barış mir mír #LoveHumanity #Pacem
Y E A R S ago, I experienced eating a raw cacao bean. I liked it and ate more. I didn't sleep, I couldn't. The night was spent shaking with a dreadful restlessness and I hallucinated (categorically different from having visions) as the night moved on.
Raw cacao is powerful stuff! Some have laughed upon hearing me make this claim. Until they realized: I was serious.
Don't confuse your neighborhood adulterated candy bar for raw cacao.
These folks don't:
"Proponents say that raw, virgin cacao is far more potent than you ever imagined. First comes a surge of endorphins into your bloodstream, which increases acuity and fuels you with feelings of euphoria. Then there’s the flood of magnesium, which relaxes your muscles and de-tenses your body. Raw cacao is also chock-full of flavanols that increase blood circulation and stimulate brain power, according to a recent study from the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition."
I'm a proponent. Cacoa is powerful. Mind the dose and time of day/hour of consumption relative to your bedtime. ^i^
#Cacoa #Theo #DoesNotMixWithAyahuasca #Leslie Nguyen-Okwu
On the bus today, I stood by the driver that was on radio with the manager to figure out the accurate stop for my destination. Aside from this call, he was engaged in conversation telling me about his 25-years as a driver, growing up in Turkey, immigrating… all the while his eyes on the road.
At one stop another woman and her young child boarded the bus. She bought a ticket and they – she and the driver – began chatting, about what I don't know. She was standing where I had stood. While they were engaged I turned to see the length of the bus that was behind me. Mostly a hall on wheels of empty blue seats, save a man and his wife, both in their +80s. He had tight facial muscles that pulled the decades of his life into a hard point. He started yelling, at me!
Bewildered by his tension yet totally calm. I just looked at the maps in his face. It was like watching a movie with the volume turned down. Maybe he thought I didn't hear him the first time? Which is partially true. He raised his voice, rose from his seat and began pointing at the chair ordering me to sit down.
I should add: he was speaking Dutch.
Hardpoint Faceman: #@%3zitten##&%*)W!!!!!
Me: I don't appreciate you yelling at me.
Hardpoint Faceman: #@%3^zzzzitttteeennnn&@#*!!!!!
Me: I really don't appreciate you yelling at me. It isn't necessary.
His wife shared the tense "I expect everyone else to manage my expectations so I can feel in control and not breathe in humanity" hard point face as her husband.
Me: I don't appreciate you yelling at me. It isn't necessary.
They seemed astonished. I was breaking their expectations, their rules. Their tension began to melt exposing more of their eyes. Oh, there is somebody home!
It is perfectly acceptable to stand on the bus. Asking the driver for directions is also not unusual.
I imagined how it was for them as children. They are old enough to remember a time where order and control was a matter of life or death and time when all the bicycles in Amsterdam were black.
Follow the rules. Be normal. Don't stand out!
I threatened that bubble of (their perceived) safety with respect and compassion by simply being myself.
Though they may have felt uncomfortable for a moment, the confrontation, direction and gentleness caused a necessary stir. One that tells the body in a deeper way when everything is OK. That fight, flight, freeze doesn't have to be a red alert status 24/7.
And, it doesn't. It shouldn't.
But, it is too easy to forget. Too easy to #@%3zitten##&%*)W!!!!!
So I remind my dear readers with my tale of the bus.
#Vegus #TRE #Breathing #RealORPerceivedThreats #Freedom #Alignment #PublicTransportation #InUitChecken
Yesterday at XD Service, two sincere mature heart-felt (non-sentimental) comments that sent my tears streaming, with the feeling being recognized for my commitment to aid people grow their soul compass, strength and multidimensional abilities, consciousness and relationships, as well as respect for life:
"Thank you for teaching us." says one woman.
"That you for opening your home." says another.
After decades of teaching and literally opening my home to people, this meant a lot to me.
My Irish-American grandfather was one of the first in the United States to be award the new rank of Chief Master Sergeant (E-9 pay grade). He served in the OSS, precursor to the CIA. When he saw goodness in an inmate of the jail he was also chief of, he would unlock the cell, put them in his car, drive him home and invite him to the dinner table with his wife and three daughters beside him. He was giving those young men (that did stupid s**t) an experience to realize they could choose differently. After the meal, he took them back to jail where they finished their term.
My German grandmother was orphaned with her sisters during the war. Russians were dropping bombs and she was told to take cover in a bomb shelter. My grandmother, all 5' 3'' of her would have nothing to do with hiding in the dark. "If they want to kill me they have to drop a bomb on my head!" Instead of hiding, she stole food and found a way to give it to prisoners of war that were trying to stop the madness.
What qualities these two met in each other bound with a faith in themselves, in humanity, in God; what regard, courage and dignity. Thank you!
So those comments yesterday, touch more that our brief history together: they touch timeless faith.
I'm honored to have you as students. To have the feeling of trust for you, to experience your integrity and how you respect life.
Thank you for being in mine.
#Morality #Integrity #Commitment #NoCryingInBaseball #RegardForLife #RespectForProcess #RoomForEmotions #SemperFi #CourageousGrandparents #HealingIsForEveryone #Gratitude #Appreciation #ThankYou
Earlier this week a medical procedure I elected to have was performed by a team of four women. I wasn't expecting such a party yet I was very pleased that each woman was warm, friendly and professional.
Before going in, the doctor informed me of the two steps involved in the operation. The first would possibly include the use of local anesthesia, the second general anesthesia, something she knew in advance I didn't want.
Respecting my wishes she was still obliged, understandably so, to make sure I knew this was usually performed under general anesthesia, that it could be very painful, "You won't remember anything." she said.
Me: "I want to remember everything!"
She agreed to move forwards without.
During the first step of the procedure, I felt my body go into shock.
Me: "My body is going into shock."
Me: "I'm starting to sweat and my hearing is fading. My body is going into shock."
Doctor: "That's common."
She gave assurance I wouldn't fall on the floor. I didn't think I would but I took great comfort in her attention, communication and initiative.
Doctor: "Do you feel as though you are going to pass out?"
Me: "Yes, but I'm not going to."
I was fascinated by the (uncomfortable) experience and feeling about pain and the survival mechanisms of my body.
She gave me a local anestetic and made one more plea for me to consider the general.
Doctor: "We have 30-minutes left. If we use the anesthesiologist I have to call them now."
I want to remember everything.
We began without general.
I closed my eyes and called a meeting with my guides, angels and other people in XD reality/in spirit close to me.
Doctor: "How are you? Still with us?"
I gave a 'thumbs up' gesture.
My multidimensional meeting brought immense joy and gratitude, and a smile to my face. I had permagrin throughout. At one point I laughed out loud.
Doctor: Was that a laugh?
Me: "Yes!", I managed with a wiggling thumb and giggle.
There was one stream/visit that brought many people I've had the privilege to help with their health. I smiled more, seeing so many faces and people I care about, I was feeling so happy. And as I reviewed these faces... it struck me: they care about me too. It was quite a revelation.
Doctor: How are you doing? Still with us?
Me: (Thumb up)
Doctor: "You're doing amazing!"
Me: (Smiling. Yeah, I am. So are you!)
When the operation was done. I sat up, raised my arms in the air, "Yahoo! We did it!"
One doctor made distinct eye contact with me and said, "We've never done this before. We ALWAYS use general anesthesia."
She began an investigation, asking what I did experience during the proceedure and how I felt in the moment. Her questions found my appreciation.
I left the table to retrieve my clothes. They weren't wear I left them.
Woman: "I moved them here." She pointed to the recovery bed.
(But that bed wouldn't be used by me. No general anesthesia, no purpose for the bed.)
I got dressed and thanked each person. They really did a good job and it was nice to be cared for.
Upon saying goodbye, the doctor said, "I will remember you."
I'll remember them too!
My bliss and grace carried me home. I made myself a cup of tea, crawled into bed, and passed out.
Thank you doctors, guides, my body and the kitten that sat right on the operation site, to purr. Yeah team!
THANK YOU for the collective conversation and eternal work.
#ClearMindClearBody #SurgeryWithOutAnesthesia #GreatTeam #Gratitude #Faith #Communication
The over-ear headphones didn't reveal what track I was listening to last night, but the device itself is certainly noticeable. My evening stroll met with a detour: several police officers adjacent to barricaded segments of sidewalk on either side of where they stood in the middle of the street. I approached one officer – an exceptionally tall man – and asked for directions indicating that my destination was on the other side of this unusual configuration. The officer told me I could walk down the middle of the street, close to the parked cars. Automotive traffic, scooters, bicyclists were also making their way at a slow pace, yet I wanted to be sure. I thanked him, replaced the headphones and continued homeward.
Perhaps a minute later, another officer wearing graying hear, a tense face and big hat stood before be. He pointed his gloved finger at me. It seemed his face became more tense with this gesture. His mouth was moving but Robin Thicke was singing about Blurred Lines and I couldn't hear what Officer Big Hat was saying. I removed the obvious headphones to hear Dutch in its aggressive less poetic form.
Me: Your colleague told me I could walk through….
He pushed me backwards.
Me: Don't touch me! Don't push me!
He stepped forward to push me backwards twice more
Me: Don't push me!
Me: (Well, I used the 'f' word) followed by 'you'.
Him: Watch your mouth!
Me: Watch your hands!
Then he stopped. He froze actually. Some shred of sensibility awoken. I walked back to the first officer who seemed interested in what happened. His first comment was to say his boss pushing me was very strange. Then (sadly) his own humanity – that he did show earlier – was discarded. He backed up his boss by acting in the same way: he pushed me too, not nearly as hard, more theatrical some how, then he walked away.
Traffic including a cars, a bus and woman walking her bicycle continued for a few more minutes down that very street, before a real diversion of pedestrians was implemented.
Two witnesses, young acting students, stopped to speak with me and the conversation lead to a nice meeting about a consciousness, behavior and fear.
Fear is what I saw with the older police man (and the younger one too would he not do as his boss did – without question.)
I have compassion for him, forgive all parties involved in the transgression and move on.
#1: If your boss is behaving in a way that is really beyond the boundaries of the 'job description', irrationally/violently or degrading to others please acknowledge it (in a safe way) rather than succumb to your own fears or their threats. Consider (your own) humanity.
#2 Having compassion and forgiveness doesn't mean to choose to suffer, that would indicate the aforementioned haven't found their alchemical potential.
#3: I value words and their meaning. I'm not quick to say the 'f' word to someone, let alone a guy with a gun and a pointing finger and a tense face surrounded by many other guys with guns... Indeed it was/is a case appropriate tool and in this instance it came naturally and consequently completely discharged the situation. Suffice it to say: use all medicine with care. ^i^
PS: Dear Police Officers of the world: you are first men and women. There are potential life threatening dangers and psychological traumas in your job. Please embrace your humanity or you will loose the ability to recognize what those dangers are. Some of you chose to 'protect and serve'. That, at least to me, means to be present, to listen and to communicate. You have so much incredible training, yet don't let it beat the heart from your chest or your personality from your birth name. Would you rather be fearless or intimidating? Shift your energy and intention and help make your community a community. Thank you.
#BlurredLines #Humanity #ConflictResolution #TheFWord#ResponsibleAuthority