On the bus today, I stood by the driver that was on radio with the manager to figure out the accurate stop for my destination. Aside from this call, he was engaged in conversation telling me about his 25-years as a driver, growing up in Turkey, immigrating… all the while his eyes on the road.
At one stop another woman and her young child boarded the bus. She bought a ticket and they – she and the driver – began chatting, about what I don't know. She was standing where I had stood. While they were engaged I turned to see the length of the bus that was behind me. Mostly a hall on wheels of empty blue seats, save a man and his wife, both in their +80s. He had tight facial muscles that pulled the decades of his life into a hard point. He started yelling, at me!
Bewildered by his tension yet totally calm. I just looked at the maps in his face. It was like watching a movie with the volume turned down. Maybe he thought I didn't hear him the first time? Which is partially true. He raised his voice, rose from his seat and began pointing at the chair ordering me to sit down.
I should add: he was speaking Dutch.
Hardpoint Faceman: #@%3zitten##&%*)W!!!!!
Me: I don't appreciate you yelling at me.
Hardpoint Faceman: #@%3^zzzzitttteeennnn&@#*!!!!!
Me: I really don't appreciate you yelling at me. It isn't necessary.
His wife shared the tense "I expect everyone else to manage my expectations so I can feel in control and not breathe in humanity" hard point face as her husband.
Me: I don't appreciate you yelling at me. It isn't necessary.
They seemed astonished. I was breaking their expectations, their rules. Their tension began to melt exposing more of their eyes. Oh, there is somebody home!
It is perfectly acceptable to stand on the bus. Asking the driver for directions is also not unusual.
I imagined how it was for them as children. They are old enough to remember a time where order and control was a matter of life or death and time when all the bicycles in Amsterdam were black.
Follow the rules. Be normal. Don't stand out!
I threatened that bubble of (their perceived) safety with respect and compassion by simply being myself.
Though they may have felt uncomfortable for a moment, the confrontation, direction and gentleness caused a necessary stir. One that tells the body in a deeper way when everything is OK. That fight, flight, freeze doesn't have to be a red alert status 24/7.
And, it doesn't. It shouldn't.
But, it is too easy to forget. Too easy to #@%3zitten##&%*)W!!!!!
So I remind my dear readers with my tale of the bus.
#Vegus #TRE #Breathing #RealORPerceivedThreats #Freedom #Alignment #PublicTransportation #InUitChecken