The importance of (energetic) boundaries and how to discern them

The Luminary Journal
By Tuaca Kelly

Years ago I met a man – Howard I’ll call him – that had been a practicing spiritual medium for nearly 30-years. He came into his own awareness of other levels of consciousness after a teenage drug overdose. When his spirit was leaving his body, it did so in a way that wasn’t nurturing or comforting. It just felt ‘wrong’. Though he was looking for an exit from the depression and isolation he felt frequently in earth life, he realized that suicide wasn’t going to provide that relief. He immediately determined to return to his body. From this experience he would make the changes he needed to survive, reassemble and redirect his focus to find his purpose.

Though Howard had come a considerable way since his death experience, and helped many others in his professional practice, the information of his teenage trauma and all the pain that contributed to it, was still present in his system. Those stored experiences influenced his personal behavior significantly and many of his interactions were interlaced with shame. Howard subsisted largely on junk food, used non-beneficial substances ritually and frequently engaged in bare sexual activity with strangers. He was reckless.

Note: Before every session I meditate and pray as a way to prepare myself for work. I do this for many reasons (that may exceed the scope of this journal) including to fortify my ability to discern (information, influences and boundaries.) I must be emphatic here: this practice is paramount!

My guides brought many things to my awareness regarding Howard’s process, including my level of involvement. As much as I can see, feel and hear benevolent beings influencing and informing an individual, I can discern the unsavory and usurious entities that also exist. Seeing also the latter kind in Howard’s field, as not the sole but indeed a main contributor to his own demise, I approached him directly with care:

“How do you protect yourself?” I asked.

“Girl, I tell my guides to protect me,” he replied.

His response modeled the casual manor in which he took most things and it concerned me. Howard assumed that his responsibility to establish healthy boundaries was not his, but his guides. I told him of my concern but he gave no credence much less interest. His investment in superstition and theory paved the way for his paranoia to flourish, leaving the door open for only further manipulation.

When I knew him Howard was a skilled spiritual medium that sought love yet compromised his integrity to experience it. He went beyond his own boundaries largely because he didn’t know their value or his part in establishing them and he lost trust in his real friends.

There are many factors in Howard’s case, but a primary one that translates to all individuals regardless of age, occupation or personal philosophy, is the importance of healthy boundaries (energetic and otherwise) and the ability to discern them.

I’d be remiss not to address one of Howard’s theories about the roles and relationships our guides have. While they have many functions in our lives, and protection is part of it, they respect free will and advise and influence to that realization. To put it another way: would you blame your parents for the intestinal discomfort you feel for the junk food you ate at a friend’s birthday party or consider that the choice to eat it (or not) was yours to make? Think about it.

Homework!

1.      Meditate. Grant yourself space for devotional ‘open time’, an opportunity to breathe with your own experience. Learn to melt and be present with your body and breathe. Learn to discern what feels in alignment with your own system.

2.      Hydrate. Your entire system, including your ability to establish clear boundaries, depends on the circulation of the rivers of life: water. When the body is dehydrated survival becomes a (potentially distracting or integrity compromising) priority. Hydration helps to eliminate toxins, keep the body clear and the mind focused. Hydration helps to stabilize integrity.

3.      Forgiveness. Holding a grudge is to hold pain and to limit freedom. It not only squanders precious energy it can invite negativity into your life. Regardless of the severity or seemingly trivial nature of the transgression or related grudge, forgive, forgive, and forgive.

4.      Respect yourself. If you’re going against your morals and don’t recognize yourself, STOP! And recalibrate! Explore your behavior with an open and non-judgmental mind. Live with integrity.

5.      Pay attention to your body. Your body is a key educator in your development and conduit with your own guides and other multidimensional beings. For example, if you feel light/lighter, joyous, grounded, full, warm, tingling, clear and are literally seeing more clearly from your human eyes, these are usually key indicators that you’re working/communicating

with benevolent people/guides. If on the other hand you feel nauseated or threatened throughout your experience, find another friend!

Was there a time you wanted to help a friend in distress that denied their issues or your honorable intentions?  Was there a time when you were in need of help yet rejected concerned friends or family? Please share.

Etiquette: Only mature and constructive comments directly related to the article’s topic are welcome.

Published: 24 March 2014

Tuaca Kelly, spiritual teacher, medical intuitive and master healer serves to assist others in recognizing and developing their multidimensional consciousness and health, critical thinking skills, intuitive discernment, and realizing their soul potential. She lives in the Netherlands with her wife.

For further insight visit: www.lovethemessenger.com. Read the Dutch translation.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) - USA
 Suïcidepreventie Crisistelefoonlijn 0900 0113 - Netherlands